First Btm Encounter.

i strongly believes that almost everyone have tried the role of Top and Btm before. it really depends on the first time experience that determines if you are a Top/Btm.

So what determines if you are a top? its that you really hate the feeling of being penetrated. i mean... come on. everyone can sustain a hard on. (especially now that there are Viagra in the market) but not everyone can stand the feeling of having a dick up his ass.

so what makes me a Flexi?

that was about 10 years back. i was chatting over the internet (g.com) someone pvted me asking for sex. as i was rather open then, thus after sending over my pics, and he was rather interested. but as he do not have a pic, i was a bit hesitated to meet him. but i was thinking, what the hell... we are both staying in Yishun, worst to worst, meet already, just "Hi & Bye" come back home lor~ so we agreeded to meet at Khatib MRT station.

a bit nervous, and he is a Bi and a Top. this i already know that if we were to have sex, and if penetration is involved, mostly likely i would be the btm~

it was 10.45pm in the night. at Khatib MRT station, a young, meaty gentleman, wearing a cap greeted me. he recognise me immediately based on my pic. i was a rather taken aback. he was CUTE! haha a little meaty, smooth complexion, very str8 acting, around my height. it was a pretty good catch! (he was 25 yr old then, and i was 19)

initially arranged to go to his house.... but he said that his mum came home last min. so he have no place... under these circumstances, i would usually call off the whole thing and go home str8. but as he was VERY CUTE... hehehe i agreeded to do it somewhere else with him.

he suggested Yishun Stadium, at that timing of the night, we have to climbed over the fence into the stadium. it was rather deserted.

i can't really remember the whole process.. but i remembered that it was good.... he started off kissing me (he was a good kisser!), then moved on to blow me (This guy can blow!) then moved on to rim me... (Oh My! DUN STOP!) hahaha i can only say... this guy really knows how to work his tongue.

then he looked me into my eyes, and gently asking if he can do me... he promised to be gentle... i was melting away....so i agreeded.

the initial thrust was extremely uncomfortable. as it was my first try.... but i already heard from some of my btms on how to flex your anal muscle.... thus when he entered me, i was pushing out, as if i was shitting. (thank god i did some dumping before i went to meet him)

i think his dick size was just perfect, thus it did not take him long to find my prostat. and ya. i was in heaven. hahahah Oh i'm such a slut.

i shall not go into details, but the thrusting action carried on for like 20 mins....

though my first time, but i already did some market research, knowing when to flex my muscle.... thus when he cum.... he was screaming.."Oh.... your so tight!" and boom.... he came inside me. (mind you, he was wearing a condom!) haha ALWAYS PRACTISE SAFE SEX.

after he came, he was lying over me, kissing my ears and cheeks, and tried to jerk me off. i tell you..... this guy really knows how to work it. he was kissing my neck and cheeks while whispering some dirty toks into my ears... as everything was rather new to me, i got quite excited. and 2 guys doing it openly under the stars.....soon.. it was too much for me to handle... and BOOM. i exploded everywhere. haha

after everything ended, he kissed me for a while more, before wiping ourselves with his white underwear. haha he even asked me if i wanna keep his underwear. i did not have underwear fetish then, so i decline. (DAMN regret already). hahaha

anyway he was staying near the stadium, thus i walk him to his block before proceeding to the MRT. he suddenly tells me that he is very closetted and if i wanna be his permanent Fuck buddy. and that he will be getting married in 2 weeks time! i already have commitment probs at that age, thus, i declined. but then i told him, if he wanna do it again, feel free to contact me again.

as fate usually likes to tease people.... 2 days later i went swimming, and my nokia banana phone dropped into the swimming pool. haha dun ask me how my phone even got near the pool in the first palce. haha too lazy to explain the whole thingy. but i have to change my phone. and somehow i changed my number too. thus that was the last i saw of him.

hm.... i can only say that my first btm experience was good. thus did not leave me a scar of being penetrated. i did consider being a full time btm then... but subsequent top i came across were nowhere near. hahaha and i think most prefers me to top anyway. these guys just automatically turn around and guide my dick to their ass! so ya.... for the next few years i was a Top.

it was until a few years later when i got attached with someone who was a Top. that i started exploring the option of being a btm again. ya. this is how i became a flex.

damn... got hard thinking about the experience. LOL Oh i'm such a slut.

Song Of The Day: 阿沁 - 遺失的美好

Asthma = Weight Gain?

hm.... as some of you might have known by now.....Stoner have Asthma problems.

yeap... everything started with just a minor Flu... which developed into airway infection... which in turn developed into lung infection. post recovery from lung infection, i was tested and certified by my doctor that i have Asthma.

initially, i was only given a very mild inhaler to take as necessary. was reminded to bring with me wherever i go. which i turned a deaf ear on. i have some frens with asthma too, but was never told the seriousness of the illness.

i rem the first time i had my asthma attack.... i was taking IPPT in camp. halfway through my 2.4KM run... i suddenly felt breathless... which i think nothing much of... (what you expect? feeling fresh while running?) and then almost immediately, i started to breath with a hissing sound.... using a lot of strength to try to breath.... it seem like i was taking in large breath of air, but also at the same time, i felt like i am not getting any air.. the feeling was damn miserable. it got so miserable that i started to have chestpain... it seems like my soul floated out of my body, looking at myself from above, whom was grasping for air. anyway to cut the story short, i ended up in my camp's medical center. i can only say the medic that was on standby, was really efficient! hahaha anyway i was refered to a specialist.

ya.... i was medically downgraded to PES C9. i used to be PES A, commando material~~~ hahaha anyway my IPPT usually gets silver every year... so a bit sad lar..... but happy at the same time.. i am now EXCUSED from IPPT! yeah~~ hahaha

anyway back to the story.....it seems like everytime i go to my specialist, i was told that my asthma was getting more and more serious.

so they keep changing medications for me. started off with normal inhaler, now i am taking a ultra strong inhaler with steriod! sigh.... official steriod ley~~ i should have started gymming then.... DAMN. haha

long usage of the medication caused my sex drive to decrease. nowadays seems like i can, not cum for like 2 whole weeks~ prior to that, i cum almost everyday. :P

the more serious side effect is that it will cause weight gain! damn, ever since i started on that medication..... it seems like my weight have been going nowhere but UP! damn. i was also told that the medication was the very same medication that made Chen Li Ping fat... initially when i was told that it will not be a long term side effect, i was not really worried. as i have always have a problems with weight yo yo. but after taking the medication for a few months now.... i am starting to get a bit worried.

What if i really cannot slim down anymore? What if i need to take the medication for long term? there are just too many What Ifs.....although i am not saying All... but most people who likes me.... usually likes me cos of looks. so when i know that i am starting to attract a lot of CHASERS now..... erm..... i am even more worried.

many people have also wondered about why the sudden weight gain over the last 1 year. But i think that they too pai say to ask too..haha which i most likely will be too lazy to explain also lar....

so now i am explaining once and for all...... so erm... hope this clears your doubt.

anyway..... even though i was told that the side effect will not be long term.... but then whenever i on TV and saw Chen Li Ping.. erm.... i gets kindda worried. haha

so tomolo on i am gonna conduct an experiement......

i shall stop the medication for time being..... then go jogging, and control my diet for about one week. see if really will have weight loss a not. of cos, you cannot expect me to change back into how i look 1 year ago.... but then... as long as can proof that side effect of the medication can be cancelled out.... at least i will not be as worried. this experiment will last for one week. one week later will post another blog to let you guys knows the result.

i used to weigh 145 KG... which i cut down to 74 kg..... now i am 88-90 kg! damn. think i better slim down fast.

ALTERNATIVELY..... if i struck BIG SWEEP this wednesdays... hahaa LIPO suction ， tummy tuck and stomach bypass will be an even more efficient way to slim down. LOL

Song Of The Day: 大肚南 -- 阿牛

Biangs i cannot find the song i wan in you tube... end up i have to create a "video" and upload into you tube before pasting here...... gee.......



如果有一天我有了大肚腩
你是否會愛我依然
如果有一天你身材走了樣
我是否還會為你摘下星星月亮

如果不小心我們白頭偕老
上天保佑我們恩愛依然
當我們老掉了牙花白了頭髮
讓我當月亮來溫暖你縐縐的臉龐

如果有一天我有了大肚腩
不要緊啦　拿來當枕頭睡羅

类似爱情

已经很久没有听到一首歌能让我感动了。。。 特别是当你让某某人听完这首歌之后，他突然对你说。。。。

他爱你。。。



10.类似爱情
作曲：小安
作词：易家扬

我站在屋顶 黄昏的光影
我听见爱情光临的声音

微妙的反应 忽然想起你
这默契 感觉像是一个谜

我们两个人 陌生又熟悉
爱似乎来的很小心翼翼

我想问问你 是不是相信
爱来了 这种滋味很美丽

心里有点急 也有点生气
你不要放弃行不行
我在过马路 你人在哪里
这条路希望跟你走下去
（这条路应该如何走下去）

最近我和你
都有一样的心情
那是一种类似爱情的东西
在同一天 发现爱 在接近
那是爱 并不是也许

可不要忘记
你要相信你自己
给我一些类似爱情的回应
这个世界 很无情 谢谢你
说一声 爱你 我很想听

好友

many people have known me since the day i went for the 1st gathering in BW. but....... if i were to ask you a question: "What do you know about Stoner?" majority of the people will suddenly have a bubble of "????" floating above their head immediately. haha nah. dun worry. its normal. i tends to build a wall among me and others usually. in a way, you could say you briefly knows about stoner, or heard from someone about stoner. but few actually can say they knows anything in details about stoner.

was rather depress the other day... and suddenly discovered that i actually made quite a few good friends over the internet.

1st on the list: Takahome

despite working quite late, being tired and saving for his trip to taiwan, upon knowing that i was depress and wanted to mahjong to destress, he actually came out to meet me for mahjong at 9 plus in the nite on a weekday! ya he was always there for me. :P he knows me quite well, though not as well as i know him. haha and. ya. we used to meet 2-4am in the morning for supper, or should i say early breakfast before bed. haha usually at Mac Donalds in Yishun. and ya, we do call each other to tok about really BO LIAO stuffs. haha sometimes it is so bo liao that i'm amazed. he would call me and tell me he saw a really cute guy who just walked pass him etc, and i would sms him telling him that i spotted a yandao guy jogging topless pass my taxi. hahaha ya. we really bo liao. we know. :P he is the only one that dispite being younger than me, clicks with me. haha

2nd on the list: LupCheong

i sent him an sms telling him why i was depress, haha somehow, his replies are always filled with positive energy. making me not so negative. and when he knows i might want to mahjong to "run away from reality" for a while, he immediately agreeded. despite the fact that he dun really like to play mahjong late in the nite. anyway i think he is the only one who truely knows what i am going through ba. cos among all, he knew the most about me. i am comfortable enough to let him knows so much things about me.


3rd on the list: NFB

meow although din really know what happened to me, but when i called him asking him if he wans mahjong, he agreeded immediately. haha but i must say, its nice being meow's friend. sometimes when we go to LC's house for mahjong, he knows that i have a special liking for Coke Light. he would actually buy me a can or 2 on his way. or sometimes he will actually get us some tidbits on his way. haha ok.. the main reason why he came in 3rd above everyone, is simply because... there was once he brought 2 bar of chocolate to LC house. and he gave me one whole bar! haha the 3 of them have to share one single bar :P meow meow have the biggest heart of all. and he is also one of the sweetest. :P

4th on the list: Asura

he's always ready to help a friend in need. what more can i say?

in case you are wondering why you are not my very close friends yet..... well... i can only say..... QUICK~ GO LEARN MAHJONG~ hahaha 1-3 are my regular mahjong kahkis~ haha 感情是在麻将桌上慢慢培养的 haha

ya.....i dedicate the song below to those listed above... :)

Song Of The Day: 范瑋琪 --- 一个像夏天一个像秋天


你了解我所有得意的东西
才常泼我冷水怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形像保密

感情和爱情

时间是“感情“和“爱情“之间， 一种很有趣的元素。

两个人相处的时间越是长久，感情就越深厚，深厚到某种地步， 就变成了爱情。

但它却没有一个时限， 有时候是一年，有时候是五年，甚至十年， 或更长久。

可怕的是， 一方的“爱情“来了，另一方却仍留在“感情“的地步。

像捉迷藏一样，一方已经回家了， 剩下的仍继续的寻找。

或许感情是经不起时间的考验的吧。所以种让相信它的人， 偏体凌伤。

如果能让时间倒流，让一切重新开始，你仍然会找同一个人， 陪你和时间一起玩游戏吗？

如果让一切重新开始， 我宁愿做“躲“的那一个。毕竞捉迷藏一定有人赢，有人输。

到头来，也不过是一场游戏。。。


Song Of The Day: 不能承受的感動-鄭秀文



歌词里有一段：

不够爱我的人，再美丽也只是个梦。。。。
爱情不止一场欢喜，你不只是一个回忆。。。

You Don't Know Me pt 2

wah...... received a lot of sms / messages from ppl asking me..

"You must be Crazy not to accept the offer!"

i was like. "Har? you really think people really just casually buy someone a casual dinner at Ritz Carlton ah?"

too stressful.

so........ i rejected the invitation....

You Don't Know Me

Life is always full of ups and downs, but most importantly, life always brings you surprises when you least expects it.

a few weeks ago, attended a gathering. there i got to know some new friends. there was this particular person whom was chatting for a while with me. at the end of the gathering, he asked for my number. i was thinking, make another friend ba. so i gave my number. knowing fully well that i will not call him also. haha

Come on, how many of you guys out there actually have people asking for numbers exchange, but never called, nor received a call from the other party? haha

anyway, 1-2 weeks passed, i didn't receive any call or sms from the party, in fact, i can't even remembered that i gave my number to that person too. and for the record, i was NOT expecting his call too. i was too busy to be bothered.

back to the story.... this afternoon, i received an SMS from him.

Him: "I keep thinking of your cute face :) , can i bring you out for a nice dinner this week?"

Me: " haha wah.... real a not wan..."

Him: "Very real. at the Ritz ok?"

Me: "Wah.... really 'Nice' dinner ah?"

Him: "i go there quite often, oso very good food. nice atmosphere too :)"

Him:" i can come pick you up from home, Let me know so i can make booking, just make sure you have a light lunch :)"

i was like.... wah... this guy serious about wanting to bring me to Ritz Carlton for a "casual" dinner siar....


sometimes i can't help but ponder, wah... i seem to get all the luck in the world. i never consider myself as cute or attractive, but yet, on and off, i tends to meet some people with 'nice' criteria, who are interested in me.
So in a way, i'm not that sway afterall.

but the fact that they likes me.... also dunno is my fortune or their misfortune. from experience, those who like me usually dun come to any good ends wan......

When i look at myself in the mirror, i strongly thinks that i wouldn't want to date myself lor. so in a way, i simply cannot understand what is it about me that attracts people......

Song Of The Day: Madison Avenue -- Don't Call Me Baby




You and me we had a opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not the kind of girl
I’m hear to tell ya baby I know how to rock your world

Don’t think that I am that strong
I’m the one to take you on
Don’t under estimate me
Boy i'll make you sorry you were born


You don’t know me the way you really should
You’re sure misunderstood
Don’t call me baby

You got to know that that will never do
You know I don’t belong to you
Its time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me
So don’t call me baby

Behind my smile is my IQ
I must admit this does not sit with the likes of you
You’re really sweet mmm you’re really nice
But didn’t mama ever tell ya not to play with fire

Don’t think that I am that strong
I’m the one to take you on
Don’t under estimate me
Boy ill make you sorry you were born

You don’t know me the way you really should
You’re sure misunderstood
Don’t call me baby

You got to know that that will never do
You know I don’t belong to you
It’s time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me
So don’t call me baby

Suicide

today took a cab to LC house to play mahjong..... decide to alight at the main road in front of 7-11. reason being, i can buy cigerrettes, and that there is a ATM there...

when my taxi reach the destination, i opened the door..... and... was greeted by a loud "THUMP"! turn my head and saw someone lying on the floor. about 10-15 meters away from where my taxi was. there are already a crowd. so i presume that it was not an accident. my taxi driver were shocked. so after he gave me change i got out of the cab.

anyway policemen are already on site. after i got out of the cab, i was standing there among the crowd trying to kaypoh see if the guy died. (typical singaporean).

after the policemen examine examine, they used a tent to cover the body.... and i walked off.

as the body landed right in front of 7-11 and ATM, i almost walked over to draw money. but decide against it. i walked to another shop to buy my ciggrettes instead.

i was actually in a shock, to actually feel scared or anything. but the image was rather clear in my head.

now i think back, i did not see the man hit the ground. i heard the sound, and i turned my head, the man was already on the ground...wriggled a bit before stopping totally.

anyway when i reach LC's place, i told him i was tramatised. he initially thought i was joking.. anyway, i was still in a bit of shock to show fear or anything.

now comes the important part....... after witnessing it..... SIBEH SWAY! mahjong din win! lose a lot! while playing mahjong, suddenly have flash back on the inccident on and off. a few times i WIN already.. but i go throw away the winning tile, or a few times ppl throw the winning tiles, but i din win. (we play fast wan. so by the time i realise i win already, another player already draw his tiles already)

but at least i look ok on the outside. haahha anyway conclusion.... when you witness these type of things.... dun gamble. Lose like mad. all tiles that came.... damn sway....

the comforting part..... Barbara bought his dog to LC house just now. the dog did not react strangly to me. in fact the dog was quite sticky to me. i was playing with the dog whole night. some people say that dogs can see ghost... so at least i am sure no ghost is following me. hahahah

wah. i also quite optimistic wan hor. hahhaha