Asthma = Weight Gain?

hm.... as some of you might have known by now.....Stoner have Asthma problems.

yeap... everything started with just a minor Flu... which developed into airway infection... which in turn developed into lung infection. post recovery from lung infection, i was tested and certified by my doctor that i have Asthma.

initially, i was only given a very mild inhaler to take as necessary. was reminded to bring with me wherever i go. which i turned a deaf ear on. i have some frens with asthma too, but was never told the seriousness of the illness.

i rem the first time i had my asthma attack.... i was taking IPPT in camp. halfway through my 2.4KM run... i suddenly felt breathless... which i think nothing much of... (what you expect? feeling fresh while running?) and then almost immediately, i started to breath with a hissing sound.... using a lot of strength to try to breath.... it seem like i was taking in large breath of air, but also at the same time, i felt like i am not getting any air.. the feeling was damn miserable. it got so miserable that i started to have chestpain... it seems like my soul floated out of my body, looking at myself from above, whom was grasping for air. anyway to cut the story short, i ended up in my camp's medical center. i can only say the medic that was on standby, was really efficient! hahaha anyway i was refered to a specialist.

ya.... i was medically downgraded to PES C9. i used to be PES A, commando material~~~ hahaha anyway my IPPT usually gets silver every year... so a bit sad lar..... but happy at the same time.. i am now EXCUSED from IPPT! yeah~~ hahaha

anyway back to the story.....it seems like everytime i go to my specialist, i was told that my asthma was getting more and more serious.

so they keep changing medications for me. started off with normal inhaler, now i am taking a ultra strong inhaler with steriod! sigh.... official steriod ley~~ i should have started gymming then.... DAMN. haha

long usage of the medication caused my sex drive to decrease. nowadays seems like i can, not cum for like 2 whole weeks~ prior to that, i cum almost everyday. :P

the more serious side effect is that it will cause weight gain! damn, ever since i started on that medication..... it seems like my weight have been going nowhere but UP! damn. i was also told that the medication was the very same medication that made Chen Li Ping fat... initially when i was told that it will not be a long term side effect, i was not really worried. as i have always have a problems with weight yo yo. but after taking the medication for a few months now.... i am starting to get a bit worried.

What if i really cannot slim down anymore? What if i need to take the medication for long term? there are just too many What Ifs.....although i am not saying All... but most people who likes me.... usually likes me cos of looks. so when i know that i am starting to attract a lot of CHASERS now..... erm..... i am even more worried.

many people have also wondered about why the sudden weight gain over the last 1 year. But i think that they too pai say to ask too..haha which i most likely will be too lazy to explain also lar....

so now i am explaining once and for all...... so erm... hope this clears your doubt.

anyway..... even though i was told that the side effect will not be long term.... but then whenever i on TV and saw Chen Li Ping.. erm.... i gets kindda worried. haha

so tomolo on i am gonna conduct an experiement......

i shall stop the medication for time being..... then go jogging, and control my diet for about one week. see if really will have weight loss a not. of cos, you cannot expect me to change back into how i look 1 year ago.... but then... as long as can proof that side effect of the medication can be cancelled out.... at least i will not be as worried. this experiment will last for one week. one week later will post another blog to let you guys knows the result.

i used to weigh 145 KG... which i cut down to 74 kg..... now i am 88-90 kg! damn. think i better slim down fast.

ALTERNATIVELY..... if i struck BIG SWEEP this wednesdays... hahaa LIPO suction ， tummy tuck and stomach bypass will be an even more efficient way to slim down. LOL

Song Of The Day: 大肚南 -- 阿牛

Biangs i cannot find the song i wan in you tube... end up i have to create a "video" and upload into you tube before pasting here...... gee.......



如果有一天我有了大肚腩
你是否會愛我依然
如果有一天你身材走了樣
我是否還會為你摘下星星月亮

如果不小心我們白頭偕老
上天保佑我們恩愛依然
當我們老掉了牙花白了頭髮
讓我當月亮來溫暖你縐縐的臉龐

如果有一天我有了大肚腩
不要緊啦　拿來當枕頭睡羅

类似爱情

已经很久没有听到一首歌能让我感动了。。。 特别是当你让某某人听完这首歌之后，他突然对你说。。。。

他爱你。。。



10.类似爱情
作曲：小安
作词：易家扬

我站在屋顶 黄昏的光影
我听见爱情光临的声音

微妙的反应 忽然想起你
这默契 感觉像是一个谜

我们两个人 陌生又熟悉
爱似乎来的很小心翼翼

我想问问你 是不是相信
爱来了 这种滋味很美丽

心里有点急 也有点生气
你不要放弃行不行
我在过马路 你人在哪里
这条路希望跟你走下去
（这条路应该如何走下去）

最近我和你
都有一样的心情
那是一种类似爱情的东西
在同一天 发现爱 在接近
那是爱 并不是也许

可不要忘记
你要相信你自己
给我一些类似爱情的回应
这个世界 很无情 谢谢你
说一声 爱你 我很想听

好友

many people have known me since the day i went for the 1st gathering in BW. but....... if i were to ask you a question: "What do you know about Stoner?" majority of the people will suddenly have a bubble of "????" floating above their head immediately. haha nah. dun worry. its normal. i tends to build a wall among me and others usually. in a way, you could say you briefly knows about stoner, or heard from someone about stoner. but few actually can say they knows anything in details about stoner.

was rather depress the other day... and suddenly discovered that i actually made quite a few good friends over the internet.

1st on the list: Takahome

despite working quite late, being tired and saving for his trip to taiwan, upon knowing that i was depress and wanted to mahjong to destress, he actually came out to meet me for mahjong at 9 plus in the nite on a weekday! ya he was always there for me. :P he knows me quite well, though not as well as i know him. haha and. ya. we used to meet 2-4am in the morning for supper, or should i say early breakfast before bed. haha usually at Mac Donalds in Yishun. and ya, we do call each other to tok about really BO LIAO stuffs. haha sometimes it is so bo liao that i'm amazed. he would call me and tell me he saw a really cute guy who just walked pass him etc, and i would sms him telling him that i spotted a yandao guy jogging topless pass my taxi. hahaha ya. we really bo liao. we know. :P he is the only one that dispite being younger than me, clicks with me. haha

2nd on the list: LupCheong

i sent him an sms telling him why i was depress, haha somehow, his replies are always filled with positive energy. making me not so negative. and when he knows i might want to mahjong to "run away from reality" for a while, he immediately agreeded. despite the fact that he dun really like to play mahjong late in the nite. anyway i think he is the only one who truely knows what i am going through ba. cos among all, he knew the most about me. i am comfortable enough to let him knows so much things about me.


3rd on the list: NFB

meow although din really know what happened to me, but when i called him asking him if he wans mahjong, he agreeded immediately. haha but i must say, its nice being meow's friend. sometimes when we go to LC's house for mahjong, he knows that i have a special liking for Coke Light. he would actually buy me a can or 2 on his way. or sometimes he will actually get us some tidbits on his way. haha ok.. the main reason why he came in 3rd above everyone, is simply because... there was once he brought 2 bar of chocolate to LC house. and he gave me one whole bar! haha the 3 of them have to share one single bar :P meow meow have the biggest heart of all. and he is also one of the sweetest. :P

4th on the list: Asura

he's always ready to help a friend in need. what more can i say?

in case you are wondering why you are not my very close friends yet..... well... i can only say..... QUICK~ GO LEARN MAHJONG~ hahaha 1-3 are my regular mahjong kahkis~ haha 感情是在麻将桌上慢慢培养的 haha

ya.....i dedicate the song below to those listed above... :)

Song Of The Day: 范瑋琪 --- 一个像夏天一个像秋天


你了解我所有得意的东西
才常泼我冷水怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情
却为我的美好形像保密

感情和爱情

时间是“感情“和“爱情“之间， 一种很有趣的元素。

两个人相处的时间越是长久，感情就越深厚，深厚到某种地步， 就变成了爱情。

但它却没有一个时限， 有时候是一年，有时候是五年，甚至十年， 或更长久。

可怕的是， 一方的“爱情“来了，另一方却仍留在“感情“的地步。

像捉迷藏一样，一方已经回家了， 剩下的仍继续的寻找。

或许感情是经不起时间的考验的吧。所以种让相信它的人， 偏体凌伤。

如果能让时间倒流，让一切重新开始，你仍然会找同一个人， 陪你和时间一起玩游戏吗？

如果让一切重新开始， 我宁愿做“躲“的那一个。毕竞捉迷藏一定有人赢，有人输。

到头来，也不过是一场游戏。。。


Song Of The Day: 不能承受的感動-鄭秀文



歌词里有一段：

不够爱我的人，再美丽也只是个梦。。。。
爱情不止一场欢喜，你不只是一个回忆。。。

You Don't Know Me pt 2

wah...... received a lot of sms / messages from ppl asking me..

"You must be Crazy not to accept the offer!"

i was like. "Har? you really think people really just casually buy someone a casual dinner at Ritz Carlton ah?"

too stressful.

so........ i rejected the invitation....

You Don't Know Me

Life is always full of ups and downs, but most importantly, life always brings you surprises when you least expects it.

a few weeks ago, attended a gathering. there i got to know some new friends. there was this particular person whom was chatting for a while with me. at the end of the gathering, he asked for my number. i was thinking, make another friend ba. so i gave my number. knowing fully well that i will not call him also. haha

Come on, how many of you guys out there actually have people asking for numbers exchange, but never called, nor received a call from the other party? haha

anyway, 1-2 weeks passed, i didn't receive any call or sms from the party, in fact, i can't even remembered that i gave my number to that person too. and for the record, i was NOT expecting his call too. i was too busy to be bothered.

back to the story.... this afternoon, i received an SMS from him.

Him: "I keep thinking of your cute face :) , can i bring you out for a nice dinner this week?"

Me: " haha wah.... real a not wan..."

Him: "Very real. at the Ritz ok?"

Me: "Wah.... really 'Nice' dinner ah?"

Him: "i go there quite often, oso very good food. nice atmosphere too :)"

Him:" i can come pick you up from home, Let me know so i can make booking, just make sure you have a light lunch :)"

i was like.... wah... this guy serious about wanting to bring me to Ritz Carlton for a "casual" dinner siar....


sometimes i can't help but ponder, wah... i seem to get all the luck in the world. i never consider myself as cute or attractive, but yet, on and off, i tends to meet some people with 'nice' criteria, who are interested in me.
So in a way, i'm not that sway afterall.

but the fact that they likes me.... also dunno is my fortune or their misfortune. from experience, those who like me usually dun come to any good ends wan......

When i look at myself in the mirror, i strongly thinks that i wouldn't want to date myself lor. so in a way, i simply cannot understand what is it about me that attracts people......

Song Of The Day: Madison Avenue -- Don't Call Me Baby




You and me we had a opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not the kind of girl
I’m hear to tell ya baby I know how to rock your world

Don’t think that I am that strong
I’m the one to take you on
Don’t under estimate me
Boy i'll make you sorry you were born


You don’t know me the way you really should
You’re sure misunderstood
Don’t call me baby

You got to know that that will never do
You know I don’t belong to you
Its time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me
So don’t call me baby

Behind my smile is my IQ
I must admit this does not sit with the likes of you
You’re really sweet mmm you’re really nice
But didn’t mama ever tell ya not to play with fire

Don’t think that I am that strong
I’m the one to take you on
Don’t under estimate me
Boy ill make you sorry you were born

You don’t know me the way you really should
You’re sure misunderstood
Don’t call me baby

You got to know that that will never do
You know I don’t belong to you
It’s time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me
So don’t call me baby

Suicide

today took a cab to LC house to play mahjong..... decide to alight at the main road in front of 7-11. reason being, i can buy cigerrettes, and that there is a ATM there...

when my taxi reach the destination, i opened the door..... and... was greeted by a loud "THUMP"! turn my head and saw someone lying on the floor. about 10-15 meters away from where my taxi was. there are already a crowd. so i presume that it was not an accident. my taxi driver were shocked. so after he gave me change i got out of the cab.

anyway policemen are already on site. after i got out of the cab, i was standing there among the crowd trying to kaypoh see if the guy died. (typical singaporean).

after the policemen examine examine, they used a tent to cover the body.... and i walked off.

as the body landed right in front of 7-11 and ATM, i almost walked over to draw money. but decide against it. i walked to another shop to buy my ciggrettes instead.

i was actually in a shock, to actually feel scared or anything. but the image was rather clear in my head.

now i think back, i did not see the man hit the ground. i heard the sound, and i turned my head, the man was already on the ground...wriggled a bit before stopping totally.

anyway when i reach LC's place, i told him i was tramatised. he initially thought i was joking.. anyway, i was still in a bit of shock to show fear or anything.

now comes the important part....... after witnessing it..... SIBEH SWAY! mahjong din win! lose a lot! while playing mahjong, suddenly have flash back on the inccident on and off. a few times i WIN already.. but i go throw away the winning tile, or a few times ppl throw the winning tiles, but i din win. (we play fast wan. so by the time i realise i win already, another player already draw his tiles already)

but at least i look ok on the outside. haahha anyway conclusion.... when you witness these type of things.... dun gamble. Lose like mad. all tiles that came.... damn sway....

the comforting part..... Barbara bought his dog to LC house just now. the dog did not react strangly to me. in fact the dog was quite sticky to me. i was playing with the dog whole night. some people say that dogs can see ghost... so at least i am sure no ghost is following me. hahahah

wah. i also quite optimistic wan hor. hahhaha

Love Story

This following story were told to me by Taka..

the story consist of 3 person from a Boy-Girl relationship.

G = The only girl in the story.
A = The BF of G.
B = The love interest of G.

G and A have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. they started off like every other couple. very much in love, wanting to see each other everyday, giving in to each other constantly. however as the years goes by, they slowly discovered that they are drifting apart. they started to quarrel more and more frequently, they start to get upset with each other's short comings. in short. their love died.

During this period of time. G met B. from where i dunno. but what i heard was that, they have developed fast. to the extend that G is prepared to break off with A.

the interesting part comes..... When G and B were talking, and G told B directly that she is going to break off with A to be with B. B told her that he do not want to come between her and A. and that she should not break off with A. this will make him guilty.... blah blah blah. you know all the "self-sacrifice" reasons.

when taka was telling me about it, and asking what i think. i merely replied: "B is freaking out."

cut all the crap reasons... dun tell me B do not know that G is attached all along. and even though he knows that G was attached, B still chose to continue their relationship then.....

Now when G wanted to break off with A to be with him, he keeps telling her don't. obviously he is freaking out. what i think is that, when B was going out with G, he was sorta only looking for some cheap trills. not really intending to be serious with her. B must have known that G was attached for 3 years, she will not dump A for him. thus making him in a "Safe" position. meaning B will not have to be emotionally responsible.

now, he must be stunn to know that things did not end up as he wish. and he MIGHT just have to stick with G, if G were to break off with A. of cos he will advise G not to break off with A.

Mark my word. soon.... B will slowly distant himself from G. now that he knows G is serious with him.


if you, reading this, thinks that this story is absurb? haha wait till you read the story of my female colleague.... whom, after married for 2 years, found out that her husband is gay. which i am still considering if i wanna post.

Song Of The Day: Blu Cantrell - Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)




While he was schemeing
I was beamin in the Beamer just beamin
Can't believe that I caught my man cheatin'
So I found another way to make him pay for it all

So I went
To Neiman-Marcus on a shopping spree
And on the way I grabbed Soley and Mia
And as the cash box rang I thought everything away

(Oops)
There goes the dreams we used to say
(oops)
There goes the time we spent away
(oops)
There goes the love I had but you cheated on me
And that's worth that now
(oops)
There goes the house we made a home
(oops)
There goes you'll never leave me alone
For all the lies you told
This is what you owe

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

While he was braggin
I was coming down the hill and just draggin
All his pictures and his clothes in the bag and
Sold everything else till there was just nothin left

And I paid
All the bills about a month too late
It's a shame we have to play these games
The love we had just fades away, away

(Oops)
There goes the dreams we used to say
(oops)
There goes the time we spent away
(oops)
There goes the love I had but you cheated on me
And that's worth that now
(oops)
There goes the house we made a home
(oops)
There goes you'll never leave me alone
For all the lies you told
This is what you owe

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

Repeat 1x

All of the dreams you sold
Left me out in the cold
What happened to the days when we used to trust each other
And all of the things I sold
Will take you until you get old
To get 'em back without me
Cos revenge is better than money, you see

Hey Ladies
When your man wanna get buckwild
Just go back and Hit 'Em Up Style
Put your hands on his cash
And spend it to the last dime
For all the hard times
Oh
When you go then everything goes
From the crib to the ride and the clothes
So you better let him know that
If he messed up you gotta hit em up

心在滴血

learnt my lesson today.

normally, i'm a bit 迟钝 wan. am not very particular about many things also. i have a very bad habit. i dun read my bills. so usually when i got my bills, i usually just open up, read the "Total payable amount" and then usually will pay that amount liao.

for my handphone bill..... even worst. i dun even open the envelope. i usually wait for M1 to send me an SMS telling me the total payable amount, then when i pass by an AXS machine, i will make the payment.

As many of you have known, i do not have a house line. As everyone in my household owns a handphone, so in a way, house phone is rather meaningless for me. my mum even got a habit of calling me on my mobile, asking me this and that..... when SHE IS JUST in the NEXT ROOM. haha by the way, i'm paying for my mum's line too.

anyway, i din notice that i ahve been paying a lot to my mobile bills lately. until when i go to AXS machine, and after i manually entered in my account number. the machine will automatically retrieve your balance, and........the screen shows that i have a outstanding balance of $280!!! personally i know that i have a $99 dollars, thus meaning.... this new month's usage rater is..... about $180!

usually i dun take notice of the retrieved balance shown on the screen. somehow, today it caught my attention. i got a shock! cos i am supposed to be on Corporate Plan! meaning it should be cheaper!

i immediately called M1. then i was told that i was no longer on Corporate plan since last Dec! GOODNESS! i am currently on public plan! my plan is Ultimate Plan. but they gave me a 45% discount. so after discount, the subscription charges is $55 WITHOUT GST.

With this Ultimate plan, you are given total of $100's worth of talk time. (for incoming and outgoing) and 300 SMS. and dats it!

during lunch time, i came home,searched high and low for last month's bill. to my horror. For May... the "Total New Charges" shows. $238 dollars!

Breakdowns:

Subscription Charges
Ultimate Plan $100.00
Less: 45% Donus Discount -$45.00
Caller No Display Sub $5
*Roaming Subscription $10

Usage Charges
Local Calls $155.44
Mobile Data $58.20 (accessing internet on phone)
Local SMS/MMS $59.55
Value Added Service $0.60

Usage Discounts
Free local calls/ discounts -$100.00
Less: 10% Local calls -$5.54 (for the amount AFTER $100)
SMS (300 free) -$15.00

Total New Charges $238.17

HORRIBLE! how cum so expensive?!?! and to think i did not even look at the bills for the last 6 months! no wonder i keep paying and paying and paying! Immediately called M1 (1627) again.

this time, after a talk with the lady over the phone, i was advised to change my plans to suits my needs. and was advised to get the corporate plan since i am elegible. and i was transfered to the corporate line.

at the corporate line side (1622), after checking all my accounts, i was advised that M1 is currently having this "Multi Line's Discount". as long as you got 3 lines and above (only applicable to certain plans) i am elegible for a 25% discount on all my lines. and after checking and calculating for me, i was advised to get the "Public" plan instead. as i will be saving more. this he transfered me back to 1627 again...

anyway to keep the story short. i took up this new SunMax plan with them. that gives me Free incoming voice/video calls, 700 mins of outgoing voice/video calls, 500 SMS, and i can appoint 3 M1 numbers, after which, all voice/video calls with them will be free! and the best part is..... after the 25% multi-line discount, i only need to pay $58.13!!!!! DAMN think of all the money i could save if i discovered that i need to change my plan earlier!

the most absurb thing about my bills.... i was told that i was billed $58.20 for accessing internet with my handphone.... i asked how much data did i accessed? ( as i know i din surf much....) to my horror again... i was told i surfed a total of 6MB! wah biangz..... 6mb for $58!!! such a RIP OFF!!!! i was told that usually when you load one single webpage, the data usage will already by around 2 Mb or 0.6mb i can't remember. kaoz......

anyway i took up another Value added Service of their SUN SURF 22. i only need to pay $22 to get 1GB of data access.

i calculate again. $58.20 + $22 + $5 (caller id charges) = $85.20 + GST at most also $100

compare that with what i am paying now... kaoz.. $238 (May), $180 (June)....... PUI PUI PUI!

morale of the story....... PLEASE READ YOUR BILLS~~~~~~

PS: i have to say, the service i got from the M1 officers over the phone were... VERY professional. they indeed offered me all forms of help i require, and patiently explained all different varies plans they have to me. Even doing the calculations for me. As i not only changed my plan, i changed my mum's plan too. thus was on the phone with them for a rather long period of time. although i feel cheated of my money, but i still have to say....... BRAVOS to their customer officer's professionalism. :)

now i think back of the extra money i paid the last 6 months....
我的心在滴血！！！

Song of the day: 心痛

Mahjong

Although i do not like to make long term plans, but i hate making last mins plans even more.

Was actually on rather depress mood today. so actually was thinking of playing mahjong to get my minds off things.

afternoon waiting for T to confirm with me what time he can play mahjong. cannot confirmed, as his company have last min work problems, he din know what time he knocking off. so have to cancel.

at around 7 plus, was on the phone with T, then decided to check with M if still wanna play a not. M replied saying he ok as he is at home.

immediately called back and inform T, who was actually on his way home, T alighted the bus to wait.

next called L, who is already in a bowling game. but he worried that it might end too late. unless play 2 rounds.

i called back T, who tells me that he is agreeable to play 2 rounds.

next i called back L, who is also agreeable to play 2 rounds, and decided on 8.30pm.

then i call back T, to arrange on where to meet him.

the moment i put down the phone with T..

M send me a sms saying cannot already. last min need to run errand for mum.


i call back L, who have left his club, and i apologise.

i called back T, who is on his way to the MRT station, and i apologise.

and i sent an sms to all apologising again, and that i will pay for L's parking, and T's bus fare.

after a while, M called me. saying that can he play if play at 8.15pm, he only need to rush his errands.

.......................................................

anyway after so many troublesome things. i also sian already.

............. somehow felt like majiam i'm a monkey. i really got so GIAN play mahjong a not? i really need to go through so many things to get ppl play mahjong a not? just because i feel like playing mahjong, caused so many ppl inconvenience..

initially only wanted to play mahjong to get my minds off things. dunno why, end up i even more depress and agitated.

So. decided. I dun think i will be planning mahjong ever again liao. period.

Empty Promises

How many of you guy have ever experience sadness post broken promises? How many of you have ever made "White" promises to ppl?

i simply hate it when ppl make promises to me that they simply do not intend to keep. the most frequent promises i tends to get:

"I call you back in a while" (PLEASE kindly state ur "a while" means how long later.)

"We go next time okie?" (MAYBE i should take it that we will not be going)

"I'll Help you find" (no intention to help me find, then dun stop me from finding it myself)

"I'll do for you later" ( i cannot do myself meh? must wait for you to do for me ah?)

I'm not saying that many is giving empty promises on purpose. some cases are that they really forgot. but i always regard a promise as a big deal. When a promise is made. try to keep it. if unable to be fulfilled by dateline, please give a valid reason. do not just act blur and hope that i will forget. i WON'T. i just dun wan to make a big fuss out of it only.

if you think that i forgot. god bless you.

The above example is just some simple promises i tends to get. i have yet to go to those SERIOUS wans.

"I Swear i only love you. you will only be my one and only!"

end up, i caught the one who "SWEAR" that to me, cheating. when questioned, he gave me answers like "At that point, things haven;t happen...."

i was like...... WTF. so much for till death do us part. maybe in his context is. "Till Death Do Us Part... but have to see what happens only when we die."

this is precisely the reason why you never hear me saying things like "You are the only one i love." or similar things like that. cos before that person, think i was in love with someone else too. how can he be the ONLY one? then where does your ex stands? he can only be the ONLY one at this point of time.

at the end of that day, please think and rephrase whatever you wanna say, before you say it out. it might means nothing to you, but to the person hearing it. it IS a big deal.

Of cos to be fair... there are really ppl who tends to keep their promises. :)

Song of the day: Promises -- Cranberries.

Breakups.

Break ups are hard. after much struggling and battles of the heart, many may have to come to this conclusion with no other choice.

Relationship are actually a series of compromise. but when you discover that there is nothing more for you to give, you are left with no choice but to end it.

All i take to get over a relationship is..... 24 hours. and after that i will be moving on. thus many have came to a conclusion that i am a heartless, cruel piece of shit. But what many didn't know.... is that..... it takes 12 good years of training to get to this stage.

Just how many relationship can you get in and out of within 12 years? hm.... me? more than 30. it got to a point that the word "Relationship", is no longer sacred. it became a norm. dats why i nowadays always frens to date longer, before throwing yourself deep into the burning flame.

Please do not have the impression that i have never been dumped. like i mentioned in my previous posting, Me too have been dumped numerious times. mostly due to the fact that i was naive, fat and childish in the past.

i used to think that, as long as i love someone with all my heart and soul, that someone will someday be touched and love me back. well..... fairytale. at the end of the day, it is better to leave some space between the 2 of you, and be reserved a bit.

The only lesson that was taught to me these 12 years, are that, relationship, no matter how good, are bound to have hiccups. your BF, no matter how perfect he might seem, will still cheat on you.

So, to avoid the heartache, why choose to be in a relationship? haha okie, i'm a pessimist.
i have marriage phobia, and commitment issues. and yes... at any first sign that the relationship MIGHT not work out, i will end it. to save myself from the POSSIBLE heartache in future.

i might seem heartless, but all i can do is to pack my emotions and throw them into the cupboard. what else was i supposed to do? Cry day and night like a crazy baby? nothing's gonna change.

Having said these... i will be lying if i were to tell you that i do not feel sad, and that i feel nothing. we are humans afterall. the emotions were never deleted. just packed away somewhere that i will not see it.

once a while, when i am alone in my room, listening to sentimental songs, that's when i will dig deep into my "cupboard", clean away the dust on the "box", unseal the taboo box, and start to unpack all the emotions that i carefully sealed away all these years... the effect could be....... overwhelming.

To anyone whom i might have hurt during the past 12 years. i'm sorry. i just did what i had to. may your life be good without me. like i always told you guys. i am bad for you.

To those who have hurt me in the past.... i thank you. for if not for the valuable experience that i have gone through, i might still be that naive, childish boi. (i'm not being sacastic. i mean it....)


Song of the Day: 爱与诚 -- 古巨基



其实自己一个更开心只等你讲
其实大家早已嫌大家却扮忙
恨有多一点碰撞仍然无聊事干不敢打搅对方
要是你愿意诚实讲一趟
彼此都起码觉得释放

不要哭 我也忍得了這些年來的委曲
沒法真心愛下去 只好真心真意的結束

别再做情人做只猫做只狗不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你不瞅不睬最终只会成为敌人
沦为旧朋友是否又称心
没有心只像闲人
若有空难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生你怎麽手震

长期被迫恋爱也真比失恋更惨
长期扮演若无其事般更困难
是我专登反应慢明明为时甚晚牌一早该要摊
再像我伴侣仍望多一眼一生都将会记得今晚

别再做情人做只猫做只狗不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你不瞅不睬最终只会成为敌人
沦为旧朋友是否又称心
没有心只像闲人
若有空难道有空可接吻
这预告发自虔诚内心

对不起自动分手错愕的你怕会伤感
盲目的我现在也可转台来贺你新生

别再做情人做只猫做只狗不做情人
做只宠物至少可爱迷人
和你相交不浅无谓明日会被你憎
沦为旧朋友是否又称心
没有心只像闲人
若有空难道有空可接吻
注定似过路人陌生你怎麽手震

算命

status: stress.

simply cannot understand, how is it possible that all the bad things come to you ALL AT ONCE? overwhelming...

anyway, back to my blog.

a guru friend gave me a website to 算命. did it for fun.... and discovered that its VERY ZOON! haha so share share with you guys..

http://tw.superfate.com/channel_fortune/index.php

Colon Cleansing

i really really really hate being a bottom!

Don't get me wrong, i am a flexi and that i enjoy having a dick in me sometimes, but its the process Prior to the act that i hate. its a process that only a considerable btm will understand.

the process of pumping yourself with lotsa water and then to pass it out, to erm..... cleanse your bowel.... a more glamourous way that i calls it. Colon Cleansing. haha

me engaging in an act with me taking the role of a btm, is a very tedious action for me. When i perform the act of a top, one thing that i dun like, is seeing my dick (protected by condoms) covered with shit the moment i pull it out. thus i make it a point not to make my top go through the same ordeal when he pull his out of mine. :P

So Considerate! go where find? haha anyway.... the yucky process usually takes up to an hour, as i have to ensure that every single drop of water pumped into me is out of my body. the last thing you wanna see..... is that watery waste matter starts leaking out of your body during anal sex. which can be quite a turn off.

after pumping yourself with water, please do not think that just by one dump, all forms of water will be passed out of your body. LOL thus DO NOT engage in sexual act with you as a btm immediately after performing the colon cleansing. do wait for minimum of 10--20 mins. this is because some water might be erm.... STUCK in some part of your intestine, and as your body got accustomed to the water, will starts rejecting the water, and 20 mins later, you will have another wave of water in your body waiting to be passed out.

personally, i will repeat this process till the water passing out of my body becomes clear. and usually prior to engaging in sexual acts with me as the btm, i will usually go to the toilet to ensure that i have nothing more in my body to pass out. only then will i have a piece of mind.

the feeling of having your body filled with water is erm.... disgusting and rather very uncomfortable (but you will get used to it) hahaha. its a feeling worst then having diahorrea. and its also worst than the feeling of having Stomach flu. which usually leaves me drained.

Anal sex is not a must for me. it usually depends on what my partner prefers. personally, i can just cuddle and kiss and JO. :P

this is also the reason why i very seldom engage in ad-hoc sex, with me as a btm.

to all the Tops out there..you better start to appreciate your btm bf... to those with no bf, the next time you come across a btm
whom you find is very clean... appreciate it. you do not understand what is the ordeal that he have to go through to get there. :P

Song Of The Day: 做你的男人

婚礼

i'm not really a fan of the S POP. but..... i kindda like this song.....

sung by Candice and LESHENG! (SO CUTE!!!! if you look like him, i wanna know you!) hahaha he's cute...and sing so well!

anyway, really like the MV. simple yet so true.. The story plot i mean. :) about how a couple who were DATING..... but somehow..... only came good friends...as time pass.....

所以说。。。喜欢一个人， 一定要让他知道。。 不然当机会决定要溜走的时候，后悔就太迟了。。。


婚礼


(女）那教堂钟声太微弱 却敲痛心中的伤口
台上庄严典礼 纪念我输得彻底

（男）他揭开你面纱时候 一枚戒指将你紧扣
掌声将我吞没


（女）面带笑容和你握手
（男）祝福你们的生活
（合）怎却 那泪莫名地流


（男）你洁白的婚礼 你多么的美丽
台下我的独角戏
（女）走进院子里 昨天的回忆
（合）如今随着花儿慢慢凋零

（男）你庄严的婚礼
（女）我演出的悲剧
（合）最后唯一的结局
（女）教堂的钟声 梦已破碎
（合）祝福声中听叶儿随风飞

Bisexuals

the thing about bisexuals in singapore.....

1) you'll never know which one of those guy, (with family/gf in tow) might be checking you out while walking down the streets.

2) you'll never know which of the many wedding dinners you have attended in your life. had the groom slept with a guy before.

3) you'll never know which of the many guys you met in suanas, actually have a GF/Wife waiting for them at home.

4) You'll never know which of the guys (that you thought are gay) that you just met, is erm. 100% gay.

thus bisexuals are usually being labelled as...... unpredictable.

bisexuals are a special breed of human beings, that are walking among the str8 circle and also the gay circle. they had evolved this special self-protection covers will repels almost all forms of questioning, with simple, vague answers when questioned. (depending on which gender is asking that question).

i have heard some hardcore gays mentioned that "Bisexuals are actually gays.... whom is in denial"

i have heard some bisexuals mentioned that "i really have no preference.... i get turn on by guys and girls..."

i have heard some hopeful mentioned that " i'm only in an experimental phrase with guys now, someday i will get married and cut off my gay circle"

i have heard some persistant ppl mentioned "There MUST be a gender that you Prefer over the other"

well..... today will let loose on a secret that not many of my friends knows...... i am a bisexual.

Having said that.... pls note that i also have phobia on marriage/commitments. This, i figured out that erm...at my age, any str8 relationship might just comes with an expectation of marriage by the other party. thus ??????, i avoided all forms of Boy/Girl relationship. and to save myself the trouble of explaining why i got marriage phobia....

For those close friends reading this.....don't get shocked...i did not lie to you..... just that i never said that i'm pure PLU....did i?

and if any of you guys out there is wondering.... how can a bi be a flexi? well...... let me tell you.. most (but not all) bisexuals i have come across... are btm...

There was once (very long ago) where i met this married man over the internet. and as he was staying near my area, i agreeded to meet him. upon meeting, he had shown pretty much interest in me.... and he not really is my cup of tea, but however.. i still went up to his place. i take it as charity sex. :P reach his place at 4.30pm. undress, a little bit of foreplay, and he kept complimenting my dick. eventually, asking me to F him there. don't think he was too experienced. cos felt his (__) was really tight. as i can take very long to cum.... at 4.55pm. he was begging me to cum.. then told me his wife will be coming back soon....(he came 2 times while i was penetrating him, within that 15 mins span) i do have to admit that... it was kindda kinky... fucking him on this bed.. with the wedding photo of him and his wife hanging on the wall, watching over us.... :P

the most insane sex i have ever had with a married man.... also occurred many many years back. same thing. chatted over the internet, exchange pic, meet up.... and he asked me to top him....(his wife was oversea). so same thing... i did it with him on his bed in his room....

Halfway doing him..... his adorable 2 year old son walked into the room!!!! (his son was supposed to be taking an afternoon nap in the next room) goodness....think i scarred the little boi for life...... imagine walking into your parent's bed room, seeing/hearing your usually manly daddy moaning so loudly.... with both his legs up in the air, over the shoulders of another guy...who was busy pumping him.......

we both jumped out of our positions! i stunned to the core..
that i lost my erection immediately. him on the other hand.... quickily got out of bed to carry his son back to the next room... NAKED. hahaha and the thing is.... 15 mins later, he returned.... requesting to finish up whatever we were doing.....but somehow i lost the mood.... so after receiving some BJ from him....i pumped him for a while, while he jerk himself off.. i did not cum that day. (note: that guy was VERY Yandao and Charming....)

so.... what type of guys/ gals i like? hahhaa


Dream Guy: Mark Chay


Dream Girl: Vivian Chow